But now, the global conspiracy set has weighed in, concluding that all of us gummint types are in cahoots with the news media to stonewall the real explanations for the Verde Valley booms. Which are, drum roll please, either shifting tectonic plates, or explosions in Deep Underground Military Bases (DUMB) where a secret war is underway between American Patriots and our UN-run federal gummint. According to these reports, last year's magnitude 5.8 earthquake in Virginia that damaged the Washington Monument was really an underground nuclear weapon detonated during one of these furious battles.
So, just when you thought it was safe to stop worrying about an apocalyptic end to 2012, we have a whole new set of DUMB ideas. Sleep tight.